My fascination with hand written letters

Over the past few months, when people get angry, I have found I make the suggestion of writing an angry, hand written letter. I don't know why, but just the idea of this brings great humor to my little life. You might ask, "Ryan, why can't an angry email or voicemail accomplish the same thing?" Voicemails and emails are just the easy way out in my opinion. There's just something about an angry, hand written letter shows that you really care. This post will take you through the anatomy of a perfectly executed angry letter.


I. The Letter Itself

When you find yourself angry enough to actually write this letter, the setting has to be right. A dark room and some hardcore emo music would probably do the trick. You should also outline your ideas so your letter comes across with just the right amount of craziness. Venn diagrams are also very useful in your angry prewriting. Now when you are writing, make sure you use capitalize key words and use lots of underlining on all the crazy parts to drive your point into the person mind. Also, repeating single words that don't relate to the point also brings the crazy up a couple notches. Oh, and if you include diagrams backing up your crazy statements, you should get bonus points. Bonus points for what you ask? (I have no idea)


II. The Hard Part

In my life, the hardest part would be the envelope. I'm sure I could find the address, I mean you can find anything on the internet nowadays! The hard part for me, however, would be the stamp. If some stranger busted into my house right now and held a gun to my head while demanding a stamp, I'd be dead. Do they even make stamps anymore? My family just handles everything online so I don't even know if we have any! If I couldn't find any stamps, I guess I could just deliver it to the person's house which would borderline stalker-ish. I don't advise taking it to this level.

III. The Reaction

An incident this intense has to bring up some sort of response. If not, just keep sending more letters. Sooner or later, you will get slapped with a restraining order which is sad but it is a response anyways! You win!


In conclusion, this was the weirdest blog post I've ever made. If I didn't spend a long time thinking of this and typing it all out, I'd delete it. Hopefully, there will never be an in-depth look into my mind ever again on here.

Love,
Ryan