Over the past few months, when people get angry, I have found I make the suggestion of writing an angry, hand written letter. I don't know why, but just the idea of this brings great humor to my little life. You might ask, "Ryan, why can't an angry email or voicemail accomplish the same thing?" Voicemails and emails are just the easy way out in my opinion. There's just something about an angry, hand written letter shows that you really care. This post will take you through the anatomy of a perfectly executed angry letter.
I. The Letter Itself
When you find yourself angry enough to actually write this letter, the setting has to be right. A dark room and some hardcore emo music would probably do the trick. You should also outline your ideas so your letter comes across with just the right amount of craziness. Venn diagrams are also very useful in your angry prewriting. Now when you are writing, make sure you use capitalize key words and use lots of underlining on all the crazy parts to drive your point into the person mind. Also, repeating single words that don't relate to the point also brings the crazy up a couple notches. Oh, and if you include diagrams backing up your crazy statements, you should get bonus points. Bonus points for what you ask? (I have no idea)
II. The Hard Part
In my life, the hardest part would be the envelope. I'm sure I could find the address, I mean you can find anything on the internet nowadays! The hard part for me, however, would be the stamp. If some stranger busted into my house right now and held a gun to my head while demanding a stamp, I'd be dead. Do they even make stamps anymore? My family just handles everything online so I don't even know if we have any! If I couldn't find any stamps, I guess I could just deliver it to the person's house which would borderline stalker-ish. I don't advise taking it to this level.
III. The Reaction
An incident this intense has to bring up some sort of response. If not, just keep sending more letters. Sooner or later, you will get slapped with a restraining order which is sad but it is a response anyways! You win!
In conclusion, this was the weirdest blog post I've ever made. If I didn't spend a long time thinking of this and typing it all out, I'd delete it. Hopefully, there will never be an in-depth look into my mind ever again on here.
Love,
Ryan
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Awkward Family Video Moment
I think I am going to chronicle some of the weirder stories from Fam Vid because I think there are some really interesting tales from that place.
Last week, I was at the store by myself during the day when a man and his 3 year old son come up to the counter. It was a normal transaction until the kid came all the way around the counter and up on the little platform I stand on. When kids do this, it annoys the hell out of me and it's even worse when the parents just stand there. So, I am already irritated and then this little kid comes up and hugs my leg. Now this may be considered cute to some, but not this guy. I don't know this kid or where he's been. For all I know this kid just pooped his pants and rolled around in it. So anyways, I look back at the father and he just smirks and shrugs at me like there's nothing he could do. So I shrug back and want to say, "Why don't you get your fuckin kid off my leg?" He eventually tells the kid to "Let go of the nice man's leg," after about 20 seconds of awkwardness. Totally an afternoon killer for me.
When/If I ever have kids, you better believe they will be well-behaved. When I was a child, I knew if I acted up in public, I would get spanked at home. I hope I can strike that fear in my child's eyes one day...
Until next time,
Ryan
Last week, I was at the store by myself during the day when a man and his 3 year old son come up to the counter. It was a normal transaction until the kid came all the way around the counter and up on the little platform I stand on. When kids do this, it annoys the hell out of me and it's even worse when the parents just stand there. So, I am already irritated and then this little kid comes up and hugs my leg. Now this may be considered cute to some, but not this guy. I don't know this kid or where he's been. For all I know this kid just pooped his pants and rolled around in it. So anyways, I look back at the father and he just smirks and shrugs at me like there's nothing he could do. So I shrug back and want to say, "Why don't you get your fuckin kid off my leg?" He eventually tells the kid to "Let go of the nice man's leg," after about 20 seconds of awkwardness. Totally an afternoon killer for me.
When/If I ever have kids, you better believe they will be well-behaved. When I was a child, I knew if I acted up in public, I would get spanked at home. I hope I can strike that fear in my child's eyes one day...
Until next time,
Ryan
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Nameless blog
Well it's just after noon in beautiful Highland and I just woke up for the day. I have such an odd sleeping schedule but morning is overrated in my opinion. What have I been doing lately? Ummmm..... well there's been school! Besides that, all I have been doing is work. Weird, right? My sister is coming home in a couple days so that is something to actually look forward to!
Time for the "What is Ryan listening to now" update. Lately, I have been listening to demos from bands I like. I downloaded an old cd called An Excellent Attempt at Next to Youism by The Early November and it's been dominating my iPod recently. I think part of me thinks it's cool because I doubt there is anyone in the world listening to it at the same time as me so it's kind of like my little secret. Everything is a lot cooler when it's only yours.
Another thing I have been listening to is So Young, So Insane by You, Me, and Everyone We Know. Their first ep was totally pop-punk which I loved but this one is pretty impossible to label. It seems like each of the 6 songs is a totally different type of music. I like it a lot. It also features Max Bemis on one of the songs so how could I not love it?
Today, I have school 2-8 then no plans! I'll probably do something fun such as watch IU get slaughtered and scream at my tv and be miserable for 2 hours. That sounds like my perfect night.
Well, I'm sure I'll fill this with more pointless thoughts at a later time.
Ryan
Time for the "What is Ryan listening to now" update. Lately, I have been listening to demos from bands I like. I downloaded an old cd called An Excellent Attempt at Next to Youism by The Early November and it's been dominating my iPod recently. I think part of me thinks it's cool because I doubt there is anyone in the world listening to it at the same time as me so it's kind of like my little secret. Everything is a lot cooler when it's only yours.
Another thing I have been listening to is So Young, So Insane by You, Me, and Everyone We Know. Their first ep was totally pop-punk which I loved but this one is pretty impossible to label. It seems like each of the 6 songs is a totally different type of music. I like it a lot. It also features Max Bemis on one of the songs so how could I not love it?
Today, I have school 2-8 then no plans! I'll probably do something fun such as watch IU get slaughtered and scream at my tv and be miserable for 2 hours. That sounds like my perfect night.
Well, I'm sure I'll fill this with more pointless thoughts at a later time.
Ryan
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Lames-giving Break 2008
So this "break" has gone by way too quickly. In fact, I worked so much that it just seemed like a regular week. I'm just so tired of working hard and not seeing any benefits from it. No matter what I do, things just seem to always get worse. Lately, I have been going through my past and thinking about all the decisions I would have made differently. I know it's useless and kind of pathetic, but I just can't stop imagining what my life could have been like had I just made a couple different choices.
But anyways, this is my last full week of school. After this, I have a week of finals then a month off to do nothing but work! My sister is also coming home in about a week so I am kind of excited about that. Is it sad that those are the only two things I am excited for???
I've been listening to a band named XO recently and I have really been liking them. It's 2 of the members of Say Anything's side project and I think they're good. It's more of a straight-up rock sound but I do enjoy some variety once in a while.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll update with more random points here in a couple days!+
But anyways, this is my last full week of school. After this, I have a week of finals then a month off to do nothing but work! My sister is also coming home in about a week so I am kind of excited about that. Is it sad that those are the only two things I am excited for???
I've been listening to a band named XO recently and I have really been liking them. It's 2 of the members of Say Anything's side project and I think they're good. It's more of a straight-up rock sound but I do enjoy some variety once in a while.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll update with more random points here in a couple days!+
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Where's the break at?
So I realized my Thanksgiving break is lacking one large thing: the break! I originally had to work everyday but talked my way out of a shift on Wednesday. Good news, right? Well I get home and tell my dad this and then he says, "Well that's good, now you can help me clean the whole house tomorrow." Not exactly my idea of relaxing! *sigh*
In other news.... I don't really have any other news. Sports, which usually are my go to source of entertainment, have been horribly disappointing this year. Notre Dame football sucks and IU is one year away from being decent so expect a lot of swearing and grumpy moods for me. And now my XBOX 360 is broken too so I'm out of video games and a dvd player in my room for like 6 weeks!
I really like the album The Room's Too Cold by the Early November. I've always loved it but have really been listening to it more lately. The song "Everything's Too Cold... But You're So Hot" has been one of my favorite songs to listen to lately. It's so slow and sad that I just think there is something really nice about it. I also read that Ace Enders sang it all in one take right after he got off the phone with his girlfriend so all the frustration at the end of the song is so genuine. I also heard he stormed out of the studio and threw his headphones against the wall and broke them! Pretty intense but I think it's a good story! The album is a lot less punky than the stuff I usually listen to but I think it's an all-around solid album and don't have to skip any songs on it. I've been really big into listening to albums all the way through lately. Even if I don't like the song that much, I keep it on the keep the flow of the album going.
That's all I have to say for now. I hope all 2 of you can wait a few more days for my random thoughts!
Sincerely,
Me
In other news.... I don't really have any other news. Sports, which usually are my go to source of entertainment, have been horribly disappointing this year. Notre Dame football sucks and IU is one year away from being decent so expect a lot of swearing and grumpy moods for me. And now my XBOX 360 is broken too so I'm out of video games and a dvd player in my room for like 6 weeks!
I really like the album The Room's Too Cold by the Early November. I've always loved it but have really been listening to it more lately. The song "Everything's Too Cold... But You're So Hot" has been one of my favorite songs to listen to lately. It's so slow and sad that I just think there is something really nice about it. I also read that Ace Enders sang it all in one take right after he got off the phone with his girlfriend so all the frustration at the end of the song is so genuine. I also heard he stormed out of the studio and threw his headphones against the wall and broke them! Pretty intense but I think it's a good story! The album is a lot less punky than the stuff I usually listen to but I think it's an all-around solid album and don't have to skip any songs on it. I've been really big into listening to albums all the way through lately. Even if I don't like the song that much, I keep it on the keep the flow of the album going.
That's all I have to say for now. I hope all 2 of you can wait a few more days for my random thoughts!
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, November 24, 2008
So it's been a while
I'm bored and online a lot so I figure I can throw some of my random ideas in here once in a while:
Love always,
Ryan
- I really love scrolling my iPod by album covers. I always thought it was so lame on tv but it rocks in real life. Also, finding band pictures for live albums is highly entertaining.
- I recently downloaded Enema of the State by Blink-182 and was surprised to still know all the words. I still listened to some of the songs via live albums but I still knew the words to Mutt and the Party Song and I haven't heard either song in at least 6 years. Why can I remember these words but not remember to take out the garbage?
- How come I haven't won the lottery yet? My life would be way cooler with like 10 zeroes added on to my bank account.
- I'm so ready for school to be over.
- Another reason the lotto would be killer is because then I would never have to work at my shitty jobs again!
- I really wish Midtown and The Early November would reunite. Maybe even reunite and then tour together!?!?!? I'll just pay them an obscene amount to play in my basement when I win the lottery!
- Why do my life's plans revolve around winning the lottery?
- Bullets were a silly idea for this blog entry.
- I still need more old-school rap for my iPod, any suggestions?
Love always,
Ryan
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